Skeletons in the closet

Voice Card  -  Volume 21  -  Yumi Card Number 1  -  Sun, Jul 21, 1991 2:07 PM

This is ONE OF 2 responses to VC 20 Larry 4 ("Aging baby boomers")...

I agree with Larry, I believe that one of the biggest factors in the increase in miscarriages is that we now hear about them, and there are more demands placed on women today.

It has been my experience that many people from my parent's generation just don't talk about the bad things in their life. It is as if things go unmentioned or undiscussed the problems will go away. Family problems stayed within the home and family. Not even close friends were allowed to discuss certain issues. Since miscarriage is a sensitive issue and because it also has something to do with "female problems", it would seem that one of the reasons that we are more aware of the high miscarriage rate is because more people are talking about this sad event.

Now, many of you are probably thinking... of course Yumi's parents would be reluctant to speak of such issues as family problems and miscarriage because they are Asian. This brings up another point. The Cleaver syndrome. So many Americans, mine included believe that they must appear normal to the other families on the block. Something like keeping up with the Joneses.

I strongly believe that our generation is more inclined to discuss problems and misfortunes among each other. I know that my friends and I value each others opinion and we draw strength from each other. I sometimes feel that my parents and my friend's parents would be a lot happier if they would not pretend that their world is perfect when it is not. Putting on your Public face was something which was taught to me at a very young age and I often feel that we are not honest with ourselves. I am just happy that things worked out for Larry and Diane. You now value Kristin that much more and I am sure that you will both be excellent parents.

One of the other factors which I mentioned is the stress associated with being a modern woman. I don't know about you guys but the thought of dealing with all of the stress at work, and sometimes at home while being pregnant is not my idea of a good time. Somehow, having my stomach stick out while trying to appear professional and in control are contradictory images in my mind.

Sometimes I find myself comparing myself to other women who have it all and I wonder why I cannot deal with all of the responsibility as efficiently as they do. Then I realize that sometimes expecting too much from yourself makes your life that much more miserable. So for now I will just enjoy my single life.

Another thing, what about all of the chemicals we live with every day? Don't you ever wonder how much harm we really are doing to ourselves?