This is ONE OF 3 responses to Vol 14 Suzanne 2 ("A Digression From Sex")...
Lettuce is NOT food. It does not belong in any meal or with any dish. Salads can be wonderful creations with spinach leaves and broccoli and shell noodles and slices of meat. But NOT lettuce!
Many of my clients hold the mistaken belief that lettuce is some sort of food material. I ask them "Does your bird (or lizard or fish or rabbit) eat a balanced diet?" and they usually glow with pride when they inform me that their little surrogate child LOVES lettuce! I know right then that the poor creature is suffering from malnutrition.
Where does lettuce fit in the four basic food groups? It doesn't! Lettuce is green packaging for water.
Do you want to try religion now?