Voice Card  -  Volume 20  -  Roger Card Number 1  -  Mon, May 20, 1991 2:45 PM

This is ONE OF 4 responses to VC 19 John 22 ("The Misplaced Gargoyle")...

Gridlock knew that knuckle gnawing looked unprofessional, so he pulled his Inspector's Notebook and Scripto out of his right chest pocket and began writing. (He was also reading from the instructions on the left page.) His notebook was the most indespensible item he had obtained during his one year course at the J E Hoover Institute in D.C.

This was his second case as Inspector. He would make his uncle, the mayor, proud and he would really impress Lou Ann. She would really have to beg to get the story from him.

The instructions read:

Step 1: Go to the scene of the crime.

Step 2: Identify the victim and time and place of crime. describe the crime in less than one page. Be brief and use the active voice.

Step 3: List the name and address and fax/phone number of the witnesses.

Step 4: If this is a serious crime, call in an experienced detective and the newspapers.

If the victim is worth more than $1 million or socially important suggest that the witnesses call their own lawyers, notify your superior, and then get your best detective. Otherwise assign a rookie detective to the case (aids in building a efficent force).

*Note: If the crime is murder and the victim is worth more than $100 million then notify professor Gambini at the institute. Dial "1-800-do it now".

Following instructions, Inspector Gridlock called his uncle, his best detective, and professor Gambini.

While waiting for his crew to show up, he and Mort, the butler, moved the gargoyle off of the victim's head and the inspector was able to ascertain that the victim was indeed bald, though all of the pictures around the room showed him with a luxuriant head of hair. At the base of the Gargoyle was a large gold nameplate, that announced that this Gargoyle was a creation of Chip's McGranite, the handsome, deboinair, successful and sometimes shady sculpter.

The date of production was less than a week ago. That made Lou Ann's idol one of the prime suspects.

Another strange thing was that though there was a MacII in the corner, all of the books on the shelf marked computers were about DOS, Windows and the philosophic and financial importance of the Intel 386 chip.