He is...

Voice Card  -  Volume 23  -  Yumi Card Number 1  -  Wed, Jan 1, 1992 8:06 PM

This is a response to VC 22 Stuart 1 ("Danka shein")...


You are in no way being too nosey. Steve is my "underground" fiance. I guess I should try to explain our relationship a little so you will understand. (Now you're in for it! )

You already know that I come from a very traditional Japanese family. I began dating Steve 3 years ago. He is the first guy that I ever really took home to the folks who wasn't Japanese. (I have only dated 2 and both for very brief periods of time.) My parents do not want me to marry anyone who is not Japanese although they are beginning to realize that I will probably never marry a Japanese guy. Steve and I dated for about 2 years and then we split up last January.

Our split up wasn't really a split up. We still went out together and we didn't date anyone else, we just went through a separation. I am 2 years older than Steve. A year after we began dating, I graduated from college and poor Steve just didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. He had always expressed an interest in joining the Coast Guard. When we first began dating I had told him that if he enlisted that I would have to break up with him. I can't stand the military life. He assured me that the Coast Guard was different, they didn't have to be out to sea for long periods of time, and they usually stay in one area. I still didn't want him to join, though, so he didn't.

After awhile, Steve became so unhappy. He didn't know what he wanted, all he knew was that he wasn't happy with his life. We decided to split up for awhile so that we could both do what we needed to do. I didn't want him to resent me later on.

Steve joined the Coast Guard and left for basic training in April. It was then I realized that he is my best friend. I was even more unhappy without him. While we were split up we still talked almost every day but when he went away to basic, I was unable to talk to him. Steve and I wrote to each other constantly and we decided to get back together in May. He came home in June for 10 days, and we decided to work things out. Steve's first assignment was in Seattle, WA so I decided to follow him.

That is why I moved, in addition to the fact that I really needed a change from my old life and I wanted to see if I could make it without my parent's help. As long as I was in California, my parents tried to make things easier for me. This isn't such a bad thing as long as they don't expect me to obey their every wish, which is basically what they wanted.

Shortly before arriving in Seattle, Steve and I decided that we wanted to get married. Now we just have to break the news to my folks. I decided that they deserved to be told in person and that Steve should ask them for permission. This way we are giving them the respect that we would want from our own children. (Unfortunately, if they say no we will get married anyway.)

My sister knows, and she had been dropping hints so my parents can get used to the idea. Basically this move has caused my parents and I to become a lot closer. They now listen to me and they have accepted my life. The only thing that they really have against Steve is that he still does not have a degree. In my father's mind, Steve and I are already married, have two kids, I have put Steve through school, and he has just left me for a younger woman. Poor Daddy, he just wants what he feels is best for his daughter.

We haven't set a date for the wedding yet, because Steve is stationed on the USCGC Polar Sea, an icebreaker that goes out to sea for long periods of time. The schedule keeps changing so we don't really know when Steve will be in port.

The ironic thing about this whole story is that I met John Cartan through Drury, and I was so happy to become a part of Archipelago that Steve and I didn't get back together even though in reality we both wanted to. I was pretty bored after graduating, no more papers, no more deadlines, my mind was turning to mush. I kept telling Steve how neat this group was and how much fun it was to talk to John.

Steve, who really doesn't have a jealous bone in his body, became jealous of John! Steve didn't try to get back together with me because he thought that I would meet John in person, and fall in love with him and poof, I would be married to John. As a result he joined the Coast Guard and I am now all alone in Seattle.

For the longest time I couldn't figure out why Steve got upset whenever I mentioned John. Just before he left, Betsy, John, Steve and I all got on the phone together for a chat and now Steve really likes John.

Sorry for such a long explaination, but you asked, and I am missing Steve very much right now. See if it wasn't for John, Steve and I wouldn't have been separated for so long, Steve wouldn't have joined the Coast Guard, I wouldn't be living in beautiful Seattle, not to mention that I probably would have stayed at my old job hating every minute of it, and my life would be pretty boring. Things always work out in the end.