This is a response to several of your job cards.
Last year I took a psychological test. The evaluator wrote in his report that "the patient has attitudes that stop her work". I'm not sure what that means but for a long time I have felt that something must be "wrong" with me because I just didn't seem to get anywhere. When I read his report I thought, "Ah ha, there is something a little more concrete than this vague feeling." The evaluation was a side test to a more major physical problem so I have not followed up on it but I will.
- I totally relate.
- I am glad you are more positive than you were.
- I graduated in music and in arts administration. I do well in school but unless your performance is impeccable it doesn't matter. I did not look beyond school while I was in it and that was a big mistake (probably in any field). Arts administration is odd because it is management and business but people focus on the word "arts" and assume I paint.
I am not saying you need a psychological test. I am saying that this whole issue is very frustrating and confusing. As a secretary I worked for many people who I saw as less capable than I and I really related to your receptionist desk problems.
I have often had the debate with myself about working for $$ and doing what you love after work. That is a great way to do it if your schedule and energy allows it.
Presently I am taking a hiatus from all of that so the stress is off. I have a tendency to stress myself by trying to do too much and be more than is possible. I put external criteria on my success in my career and didn't set my own criteria in an effort to impress.
I am happy with my paper route and do not consider it beneath me. My parents see jobs in those terms and I don't think that view is right for me. I don't plan on being a paper girl forever either but I am glad I do the job well - the office even said I am their best!