What a Horrible Dream!

Voice Card  -  Volume 5  -  John Card Number 22  -  Tue, Mar 14, 1989 1:29 AM

This is ONE OF 2 responses to Vol 5 Stuart 4 ("Storm Crabs,Yikes!")...

"Stuart! Wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

Kathy stroked the head of her puppy dog husband and held him until the sobbing subsided.

"My God!" moaned Stuart, "What a horrible dream! I thought I was Cartan!"

"That must have been awful! Tell me all about it. No, wait - let me turn on the lights first. I don't want to listen to this in the dark!"

After some lemon tea and microwaved leftover fishballs, Stuart was able to describe his nightmare. Kathy shook her head in disbelief, unable to take it all in.

"You didn't actually eat any Captain Crunch did you?"

"No! There wasn't any because of the storm. But the horrible part was, I WANTED TO!"

"There, there."

"And then all the words turned into little crabs! And I was so cold!"

"You know, Stuart, I hate to say it, but do you think maybe you had this dream because you were feeling guilty?"

"You mean because I couldn't think of a way to finish that bar scene with the Crab Storm Trooper? You know how hard I tried! Cartan is just too good! I can't keep up with him! I'm not half the writer he is!"

Kathy gave her husband a good slap. "I don't ever want to hear that kind of talk again! You can outwrite Cartan with both hands tied behind your back! OK, so he's good. Alright, he's brilliant. I won't deny that bar scene had me on the edge of my seat, and when he threatened to sell Heddy's favors there were tears in my eyes! But you can beat him, baby! I know you can! That's why I married you!"

Stuart pushed back the table and stood up, his brow furrowed with a grim determination his wife had never seen in him before.

"By god you're right! What is Cartan, but a mortal man? Does he not sleep like other men? Does he not eat? If you prick him, does he not bleed? A giant? Yes! But every Goliath has his David, and I am that David! He will rue the day he ever started that stinking crab epic!"

"O Yes, my warrior, YES! To the computer! Deal him a blow he'll not soon forget!"

Stuart flicked on his computer with a mighty slap of his hand. The screen came alive! When he saw the final lines of the storm trooper scene, he faltered for only a moment, swallowing hard. But then the face of his beloved wife seemed to fill the screen, her eyes shining with confidence. Stuart gritted his teeth.

"This one's for you, baby!"

Grimly, he began to type...