I am sorry to report that my ill-fated and melodramatic entanglement with Dionne is not yet over and my poor battered heart continues to take a daily beating.
I will not go into all the gorey details at present; suffice it to say that nothing much has changed since March when my heart hit the fan. Despite all the chest-beating, tearful embraces, secret rendezvous, passionate love letters, shouting matches, counselling sessions, death threats, payphone calls, broken promises, sleepless nights, and overall childishness, Dionne is still living with a remarkably evil man while I twist slowly in the wind.
Last April, after a particularly cruel weekend, I broke out and hit the road. I spent one week in Salt Lake seeking out old friends, pushing them against the nearest wall, and telling them my story, very much as the sailor did to the wedding guest in the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.
I then allowed my parents to take me on a trip to Hawaii. Hawaii, it turns out, is a paradise for lovers and newlyweds, but has little help for a broken heart. We hopped from Oahu to Maui to Molokai, but everywhere I turned someone was getting married. Stand beneath any waterfall on any island and within minutes a groom appears, and a bride, and a priest, and someone starts playing a ukulele, and there are flowers as thick as gnats and I am running for my life!
I did spend an excellent day on a sailboat, snorkelling for my first time and becoming much better acquainted with the Pacific. I also got to see an original Van Gogh in a wonderful Honolulu art museum (see my book review this issue for more thoughts on poor ole Vincent). I made a vow that I would come back some day with a wife in tow.
After that there was more bouncing around the country and further additions to what I'm sure will be one of the most terrifying phone bills of the twentieth century. Thanks to all of you for listening to me and special thanks to Paul for putting up with me for a whole week.
I now find myself back in Canyon Creek for the time being, so near to Dionne and Sasha yet so far. There is a chance that I will end up in California this summer, but I will put Canyon Creek on the return address of your packets and have them forwarded if need be. One way or another this nonsense will cease within a month or so and when it does I will try to make some sense of what has happened and write some kind of HyperEssay on love and madness.
Stay tuned and keep those packets rolling in!